I see a lot of questions about dating and how to approach it when you have a stutter so I decided to post about it. I am lucky enough to have.
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Dating Advice from an old stutterer self. I see a lot of questions about dating and how to approach it when you have a stutter so I decided to post about it. I am lucky enough to have gone on lots of dates and hookups in college and here's what worked for me. Actually, this will work for anyone. Instead of going from zero to ten and trying overnight to be a smooth operator, which is completely unrealistic, I just became friends with lots and lots of girls. And not in a sleazy, manipulative pick up artist kind of way either. I genuinely became friends with girls from class, regardless of whether or not I had feelings or interest.
To me, they were my friends just like any other friend. Sure, there were a couple that I liked, but save that for later. You get used to being around female company. This is good for when you meet new girls who you may like. You will know what to say, when to shut up, what to pay attention to and etc. Sure, you will still be nervous but you'll get used to how to talk to women very fucking fast, how to pick up on what they're feeling and they will pick up stuff from you.
Every girl that I've ever been friends with has found my stutter to be endearing, which made me seem vulnerable and sensitive and not like "most men. And you probably are sensitive because you know the pain of being isolated all the time. You will be a better person for it.
I'm not making a blanket assumption about every guy, but a lot of guys have been conditioned to think of women as pure sex objects on a pedestal. Everyone is the same.
Welcome to Reddit,
I taught myself that by becoming friends with all girls. Didn't matter what they looked like or anything, just as long as they were decent human beings and got along with me. That's the only thing that should matter. I listened to their problems and they listened to mine. After being friends with lots of girls, my friend circle would get bigger.
I became popular because I was always sitting with girls in front of the library and that just drew more girls around the campfire. This will boost your confidence like crazy. It's good to feel confident. It's good to know that you can make your gal pals laugh.
Your gal pals will stick up for you too. After sharing yourself with them, they will sympathize with your problems and big you up in front of other girls. I think we are all very compassionate inside because we understand what it feels like to be shunned.
Dating advice for stutterers
So being friends with girls makes perfect sense. I just want to stress the fact that this isn't pretending. This is being human and tearing down these imagined walls of division. Forget about stupid shit like being friendzoned.
Forget about trying to glean shit from her through social media or tells or reading her micro expressions or any of that pseudo dating bullshit. And most importantly, forget this very callous "bro" mentality and stop talking shit about girls when you're with your buddies. You can do better than that. We've all human beings and we all deserve respect. All you need to know about girls, you can already get by just talking and listening to them. Just be yourself and be nice and be kind and don't expect anything.
But don't be a doormat and don't get used either. Just connect with another human being and start from there. Don't ask for her number. You might not always understand what someone who stutters is saying.
But that's actually a common problem we encounter when talking to people who don't stutter, too. Part of a meaningful conversation is gaining an understanding of someone's thoughts — and, to do that, sometimes repetition is mandatory. Even if someone works a little harder than you do to say what they have to say, it doesn't mean they don't have the ability to say it again.
The best policy, Millager says, is to be honest. Say something like, "I'm sorry.
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I didn't catch that — can you say it again? For some people who stutter, there may be long pauses in their speech while they work to find the correct word or sound to complete their thoughts. If someone you're talking to pauses for a seemingly prolonged period of time, it may feel tempting to "help.
But Turner says it's essential to become comfortable with silence, seeing it instead as an asset that helps you be more present in the conversation. If someone you're speaking to pauses for a prolonged period, don't jump in with assumptions of what they want to say. Instead, give them the right to express their own thoughts. A photo posted by karla hinojosa karlahinojosa on Apr 13, at 6: Turner argues stuttering is an asset to conversations because it often forces people to focus intently on each other.
That can be a really cool opportunity.